Unlovable.
I dont know why sometimes I feel like an unlovable mess, I know I'm loved, my family loves me and my friends also. There are a few guys that have tried to love me as well, I know I can be loved be somebody else.
This feeling I have right now been 11.20 - Sun, April 29th. Is different.
I went for a walk today cause I needed to clear my thoughts, so I walked for an hour or so, I passed the streets I used to pass when I was a kid, lost in my thoughts, listening to music & thinking about everything, from what I'm going to do tomorrow, what am I going to wear and some meaningless things. This song came on shuffle "Perfect" by Simple Plan & I remember how I used to think my parents didn't get me, it's about about not been able to be good enough for your parents.
While I was listening to the song the only person that came to my mind that had always thought that (and still) is me.
✔ Disappointments.
✔ Lose of hope.
✔ Self hate.
✔ Regrets.
✔ Disgust.
Those are feelings I have felt for myself more than once in my life.
So I came to realized that I am unlovable by me, I dont know if I expect too much of myself and that's the reason why I keep disappointing myself or if it's ok to have such high expectations of me when I have not been able to achieve most of them. I dont talk to people about this, I dont like to look vulnerable and I dont know if it's right or wrong or if it's just who I am, if most of people are this way, I gotta learn to accept and love myself but the question is: where & how do I start?
ə
This feeling I have right now been 11.20 - Sun, April 29th. Is different.
I went for a walk today cause I needed to clear my thoughts, so I walked for an hour or so, I passed the streets I used to pass when I was a kid, lost in my thoughts, listening to music & thinking about everything, from what I'm going to do tomorrow, what am I going to wear and some meaningless things. This song came on shuffle "Perfect" by Simple Plan & I remember how I used to think my parents didn't get me, it's about about not been able to be good enough for your parents.
While I was listening to the song the only person that came to my mind that had always thought that (and still) is me.
✔ Disappointments.
✔ Lose of hope.
✔ Self hate.
✔ Regrets.
✔ Disgust.
Those are feelings I have felt for myself more than once in my life.
So I came to realized that I am unlovable by me, I dont know if I expect too much of myself and that's the reason why I keep disappointing myself or if it's ok to have such high expectations of me when I have not been able to achieve most of them. I dont talk to people about this, I dont like to look vulnerable and I dont know if it's right or wrong or if it's just who I am, if most of people are this way, I gotta learn to accept and love myself but the question is: where & how do I start?
ə
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